Ten Top Imago Relationship Tips

(from Imago Relationships International Connections Newsletter February 2009)

  1. Add romance to your relationship year round with little surprises. You don’t need to wait to do something special once a year on Valentine’s Day! Surprise your partner on a Monday night in March with a candlelit dinner. Try adding little surprises gradually and don’t worry about being original. Think of something your partner will appreciate (a love note, a single rose, a CD of their favourite musician, a new pet-name etc.) and surprise him/her. Remember the old adage: it’s the thought that counts.
  2. Don’t be defensive. Rather than feeling judged, take a step back and look at your own character flaws. No one is perfect, but we all have the opportunity to grow.
  3. Make love, not war! Choose love and understanding as often as possible.
  4. Avoid negativity. Blame and negative criticism get you nowhere. Your intention is to have aloving relationship so keep that in mind. Speak to how you feel rather than listing what you think

    your partner is doing wrong.

  5. Dialogue your way to a better relationship. Go to a “Getting the Love You Want” workshop, dosome counselling with an Imago therapist or read the book to learn how to use the Imago

    Dialogue. Good communication is the key to understanding each other and being understood.

  6. Be the partner you want your partner to be.
  7. Take ownership for what is not working in your relationship. We can only change ourselves.Focus on your part in the dynamic between the two of you. Be honest with yourself and you will

    make room for growth.

  8. Create a relationship vision together (this exercise is in “Getting the Love You Want”). Energyfollows attention. The minute you begin to create the vision, you will move towards it.
  9. Become your partner’s advocate. Make your partner’s welfare, dreams, potential, andachievements your project.
  10. Love unconditionally. It is easier to love when all is well, much harder when times are bad. Butwhen is love most needed?